The fanfic that thegoldnguy made without ever using the backspace

The Context of the Story

Here's wat Imma gunna do, in the syle style of Spike's self [erverted desires, Imma never toning going to use the backspace key for this story, I'm also going to try to make Teh story as ridiculous as buoys ovule possible, and here's de best part, IMMA ALSO GOING TOO TYPE THIS ON AN IPAD WITH AUTO CORRECT MUHAHAHAHAHAU. ENHOY ENJOY.

The story theat I made and i'am typing write now and stuff and I can't stop typing like this oh crap

1nce therm Wes a day were Godzilla ate a bagel, but that's another sorry story for another team.
One day Jeff the killer was being ridiculous, eating everyone, while also farting rainbows making sure that the lumberjack wasn't chasing him.
"Damn lumberjack!" Jeff said. "Why is that stupid douche following me?!" Jeff was answered bay a sjshsisuehueiwbduwbh piano fallowing I'm has head. Instantly cruuusjeinf crushing him, but then a skeleton pooped out of the piano, singing bohemian rapshody, while also killing dozens of peple weird with his massive sledgehammer. Jane also fell out of nowhere, and began crying HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD FROM HERE I's!!!!'mianuxrhuinuiftbß. But then Jane was crushed by a giant piano !! A man in the background screamed "WHOSE IDEA WIZ THIS?!?!!!!?1!71!1!1!1?1?1!717)7812))781278)129)7217!9129!721!781279!21!972179!21!9717!921!971!7919!71279)21!7921)729!711".
Just then.... Silence! A massive dinner plate fell from the sky, killing dozes snaps of dozens of civilians! The dinner plate was following followed by an evil PATRIXXX ! Thankfully, haft er after the horrors of today, evil PATRIXXX was the only survived, because he is amazing like that. Evil PATRIXXX then des dead battle with an evil clone of himself, evildoer evildoer (is gone ignore those evildoers) infintly more evil PATRIXXX! But because both can't die, they were both sent to an alter née alternate universe were every thing is made out of table cloth! Chris chan appeared and slogged over everyone, so they sent Chris in a a into the same dimension of the 2 evil patrixx's , were he died an evil death.
A giant nega megaton appeared and shat out a car with the license plate that saiddd "table for olive " , inside the car was Rainbow Fsah Dash, havering have (scratch that) having hawt seeks with a horrible OC. This wahawt seeks mad e twilight mad, and needed ended up having a threesome with Rainbow and the OC,. THEIR decks secks made the OC explode, creating a shower of HYPER REALISTIC organs and piss and blood and Sanic, . Rainbow was sad that her OC boyfriend was ded, so she had lesbian secks with Twilight, DONT U NO UR MAH VERY BEST FFFRRRREEEEEIINNND?!!!!
With that out of Teh ways way, the Stary cuntenus, Godzilla appeared and nuked everyone with his atomic ray, everyone (except evil PATRIXXX because of hem being in a different demiension) died in the explosion, . Goku appeared from nuwere and pulled all 7 dragon balls out of his ass, wishing everything back to normal, everyone who died was brought back. A secksy Gardevoir appeared to thank him, and then they did it. Everyone was jealous, so Goku invited them to join in. So then, Jeff the Killer, Nega Megatron, the lumber jack, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, the horribly designed OC, the car, Evill PATRIXXX (came back from the table cloth, Eviler Patricxx, Goku, Gardevoir, and yes, even Godzilla, had a massive orgy theta that that made the universe exploded and everyone was blessed with eternal life, the blessed was none other than Shrek.
THEN ENNNNNND
But the question is...
Who was phone?